a bench with a view

a bench with a view

Monday, November 3, 2014

empty nest once again

The first time son moved out, he was 19 years old and clueless what it took to live on your own.  He lasted 3 months and moved back in with us.

The second time he moved out, it lasted just about a year.  He was a few years older and they could have, should have made it work, but they didn't, and in retrospect I'm glad they didn't.

So when he told us about 6 weeks ago his plan to move out by the end of October I wasn't sure it would all come together.

But it did. They packed up the truck Friday, Halloween, hit the road Saturday morning, got settled in a bit to their new place over this past weekend.

He got a job where they are moving.

She can transfer her job where they are moving.

For privacy sake, I won't say where they are moving, but it is within a day's drive of where we live.

Though likely we won't go and visit them unless we board Koda.

And we have mixed feelings about that.

Although he loves his car rides, he does fidget and I think this would be longer than he would like.

The first time son left, I cried for days.

The second time, just a few tears shed.

This time, a little more than a few tears shed, but they were mainly happy tears if one care shed happy tears, and I think one can.

Its a good move.  It doesn't seem like it should be a good move, but I think it is. A few months ago I told him "I think you are on a brink of something really good, I don't know what it is, but it is good." And then it happened.

I will miss him.

Yet it is good.

It is what our jobs are that we do.

Prepare them to leave.

He came back twice.

I don't think he'll come back this time.

And that's okay.

I just have to learn how to cook again for two.

And that is okay too.

Lord, please watch over him.

You always have, you always will.

That's good enough for me.

And so he moved.

Changing of location.

Cliff hanger revealed.

Yet who knows, maybe there's another move in store.

Stay tune......

31 comments:

Paula Kaye said...

Oh betty I know how this feels. It is so hard to let them go but it is what we have them for. God gives them to us just for awhile and then they must go out on their own. I know you will miss him. But he will make you proud......

TARYTERRE said...

I have been through this with my daughter. So I know how you feel. Fingers crossed this will be a new beginning for him that will last. Hopefully you will get to see him more than you realize at this point. Take care.

Bijoux said...

Change can be difficult. Wishing him well and you, peace of mind.

I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

Yes, it is our job to prepare them to be self sufficient adults, but it does' t mean that we don't miss them when they leave home. I experienced that sense of loss 7 times and it never got easier. Thankfully it was spaced out over a period of years, but having never lived by myself it was hard to adjust when the last one left home..

Mevely317 said...

How exciting!!!
Hearing of his first two attempts, reminds me of God's promise: "Hold on, I've something better in mind." (Well, I'm sure that's not what's written in Scripture, but you know what I mean?)

Joanne Noragon said...

Good for the two of them to realize there's a time to move on.

Big Mark 243 said...

...I can only imagine how you are feeling... happy, with this move looking more solid, son is really taking flight... sad, because son is really taking flight..!

My heart goes out to you... but you and hubby will get to relearn one another in a new way as well... so there is that...

Pat Hatt said...

Hopefully he enjoys where he moved and they are as happy as can be. Not really a fan of boarding dogs or cats either.

Funny in My Mind said...

I could have written this myself except mine moved out and back in several more times. Mine is also an hour away, not a day but he doesn't yet have a job or a car. You are in my thoughts as the days go by and you worry and hope and pray for your boy. You still have your furry boy ;)

Deanna said...

Change is difficult and letting go is difficult, but when you know in your heart that it is the right thing, it is a good thing. Praying that this move is a huge success for everyone!

Linda said...

Great news with the jobs! Hope the new location works out well for all. Know you'll miss him and his cooking. Take care.

P.S. Oh my, another cliffhanger!

jack69 said...

One of THOSE things. The happy and sad things. We have one at 50+ who is finding himself 'again'. It looks good.
I know you are proud for them, but once they settle back in and home becomes comfortable again as a family, it does hurt to see the 'empty' spot. Praying that the best is yet to come. Sending love from this side of the country.
Love you all, lady.

Stephanie Faris said...

It is so tough that children move away so much now. Luckily travel and videoconferencing make it easier to stay in touch. Maybe you should buy an RV and go back and forth! My mom's corgi LOVED their RV...

Sharon said...

I know of few journeys more bittersweet than that of being a mom. Yes, we want our children to be on their own, to forge their own lives. But oh, how we miss them! Best of luck to your son, and I also pray for "something good" right around the corner for him!

GOD BLESS!

Birgit said...

My mom would wring her hands and weep. She would have been so sad if either of us moved far away. You raised a good son because a parent has to make sure the kids are independent. I have seen too many clients where the child is still living with them and the child is in the late 20's or in their 30's. I wonder what will happen to them once the parent is gone. You have skype, phone and so much....and I wonder if you are thinking of moving...

Intense Guy said...

I am so glad things came together finally!!!

:)

Debby@Just Breathe said...

I wish him well......((HUGS))
Debby

Liz A. said...

Congrats. Hope he does well. And as for cooking for two--don't. Have leftovers so you don't have to cook every night.

netablogs said...

Happy for you, Betty. I understand the tears.. happy and sad, sometimes at the same time.

Jimmy said...

Making changes and moving out is a big part of life, you have left the door open to let him know that you are there for him, it's hard to see them go but they are never really gone, because they are part of your life and in your heart.

Linda Schrankel said...

Your son is covered in your prayers. We always will continue to be mom for our children and they know we are always there for them. Sometimes we may not "like" what choices they make. But, we always love them. Praying for you as you once again make the transition.

Danielle L Zecher said...

I think quite a few of us came back home at least once after moving out. It sounds like this is a good thing for everyone. And I totally agree with you that it's possible to cry happy tears. :-) I'm sure Koda wouldn't mind if you still wanted to cook for three ;-)

Jerralea said...

I can certainly relate to your feelings. I have now been an empty nester for a year. It's been hard, but it is rewarding when you see them on their own and making it. Sometimes I shake my head at their decisions but hey! After all these years, I still make mistakes, too.

yaya said...

Our youngest has moved back and forth too..but this last move I believe will be the last. He lives in town so we see him atleast once a week. We have his older brother with us until Spring. When he goes I think we will be true empty nesters again. I worry about my kiddos but I also enjoy the privacy and being just a "couple" again. I wish your son good fortune! And I'll send you a hug! OOOO!

Chatty Crone said...

I understand believe me. I part of me would die if Kelly and Andy left - yet I know it would be the best thing for them.

I wish him well and you too mom!

SweetMarie said...

I hope it all works out for the both. :) It sounds like they had a plan to follow, which is very helpful. I can only imagine how much you miss your son. Will you consider moving closer to them?
hugs,
Marie

Kat said...

Aww. You've put a lump in my throat.
Yes, it is what we prepare them to do but it doesn't make the letting go any easier.
Big hugs!

Veronica Lee said...

Oh Betty, my son will be leaving for college soon and I can totally relate with how you are feeling right now.

I wish your son well.

((((hugs)))

salemslot9 said...

like I told
my folks when
I moved out...

now, you can
get naked ;)

Relyn Lawson said...

It's so hard to let them go, isn't it?

Secret Agent Woman said...

Of course you can cry happy tears! Sounds like a positive move for all concerned.