a bench with a view

a bench with a view

Monday, February 18, 2013

I never know what to do........

I have difficulty with etiquette. I know please and thank you and a bit more, but when it comes to the unusual, I never know what to do.

A few Christmases ago I asked every one's opinion what they would bring after son had been invited to girlfriend's house for dinner and the mom said (after he asked) "just bring yourself". I didn't want him to go empty handed. You guys gave great advice on what to bring, candle, flowers, etc.

I need your help again.

What would you do in such a case we were invited to?

The lady has been unemployed for about six months. She finally got a job (thank you Lord). Her husband realized a week or so later that he hadn't really congratulated her on getting that job so he is throwing a surprise party for her and invited us. We are just to show up within a few hour time span on the day of the party (I'm sure after the first few people show up she will realize it was a surprise).

So here's my dilemma.

Do I bring anything? A card? Tucked inside the card a gift card for Starbucks? Just bring ourselves? Bring an appetizer to share as suggested by the host???

Like I said, I never know what to do......

what would you do???

41 comments:

MorningAJ said...

I think it depends on the time of day. If it's an evening thing I'd take a bottle of wine (but I live in the UK and we might be more likely to drink wine here)

Otherwise: Box of chocolates? Bunch of flowers? (nothing special - just a cheerful posy) What does she like? Wind chime? Ptted plant?

What's the job? Something to fit that. If it's an office job, maybe a smart pen or a new mug for her coffee. Something that says 'Well Done' or whatever.
If the job means she's on her feet all day, maybe some foot soak (nothing too clinical - flowery smells!)

Hope that helps.

I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

Something simple and not to elaborate is fine. I like the idea of a mug with a cute saying. It's nice her hubby thought to have the celebration. The only time I ever celebrated my job was when I retired. LOL. Hope you have a wonderful Monday!

Shelly said...

I think the Starbucks card is a lovely idea. Good for her for persevering and not giving up! You are a good friend to be so thoughtful~

Bijoux said...

Definitely bring an appetizer as was suggested by the host. If you want to bring something extra for just your friend, like flowers, I'm sure it would be appreciated.

Verna Lantz said...

If the host suggested an appetizer, that is what I would bring.
I also like the idea of a card with a little something inside. Something just for her. :)

Pat Hatt said...

I am pretty clueless when it comes to this, but the card sounds good.

Jacked Up Glock Mom said...

I would do the appetizer thing. Or even a dessert.
But, I do like the idea of a card with the Starbucks card inside..
Either way you will be fine.

Karen Greenberg said...

I never know what to do in these situations, either. I think a dish to pass at the party sounds fun, but with everyone coming at different times, will it sit out and get hot/ cold/ old? I might bring something that would help her get back into the swing of working. Does she take her lunch to work? How about a cute lunch bag? What about a puzzle book to tuck into her purse for during her breaks? Good luck finding just the right thing!

Jeanie said...

If the host suggested an appetizer I would take that, but a little gift for her would be very nice to add to that. I'm sure a gift card of any kind (I always love Starbucks) would be much appreciated.

Adam said...

I think the card and starbucks gift would be nice

Dana said...

I think I'd bring the appetizer and a small gift (like the Starbucks card).

Deanna said...

I would bring an appetizer of some sort. Maybe banana bread or something like that. And a card of course!

Graciewilde said...

I think cards with thoughtful words are wonderful - I like to write them and, every so often, a parent or child at my school will gift me with such a card and it makes a HUGE difference. I don't think you can ever go wrong with that. And, I think sliding a Starbucks card or some such thing in is a sweet bonus.

Life in a Small Town said...

I'm going to jump on the bandwagon and say that if the host suggested an appetizer, then that's what I would take. I like the idea of a coffee mug with a Starbucks card.

Joanne Noragon said...

All good things to do. The lovely lady will be so pleased, by far more than the new job.

LynnMarie said...

WOW what good afvise! Pick any of them and you will be sure to make her feel special.

jack69 said...

YOU are asking the KING of 'don't know'! I am a please & thank you guy.
But probably what the host suggeted. OR if you do not have the time to make or pickup the 'thingies' the card.

Both if you feel comfortable with that. BUT DON'T LISTEN TO ME, I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT SUCH STUFF.
Thanks you!

(((HUGS))) I have no doubt your instincts are best, U B smart.

Sharon said...

I think I would take the husband's suggestion about bringing an appetizer. But, if it was me, I'd probably bring that card, too. I also like the idea of the gift card for Starbuck's - because it sorta implies that she'll be needing that cup of coffee because she has a job now!

I'd do all three - when in doubt, I tend to go overboard!

xo

SweetMarie said...

I like to take fresh flowers because they continue to bring happiness days later. :) All your ideas are nice and thoughtful. :)

Linda said...

Unusual, I've not heard of such a party. Appetizer and congratulations card for sure. Gift card would be sweet if real good friends and in your budget. Just sent homemade congrats card to daughter and son-in-law, not in their "major" field but both just got promotions in their retail jobs, and I included a restaurant gift card that was much appreciated.

Alessandra said...

I vote for Starbucks too, that way she can be bright and ready for work, who doesn't like Starbucks anyway?

Debby@Just Breathe said...

I would definitely bring a congratulations card and I think Starbucks is a great idea. It can be as little as $5. I always bring something.

Mevely317 said...

I echo everyone's sentiments about getting a card (a cute one!) and Starbucks something-or-another, Betty.
Another thought? What about bringing your camera to preserve the memories, then present her with a little photo-book after the fact?

Myra

netablogs said...

I would err on the side of bringing something. A card with a Starbucks card tucked inside would be perfect. :)

La Petite Gallery said...

I would bring a veggie platter and dip, that goes over well.
Have a fun time.
That's my 2 cents.
yvonne

Secret Agent Woman said...

I'm a fan of consumable gifts so that I'm not adding clutter to someone's life - so I tend to go with things like a bottle of wine, chocolates, flowers. I like the gift card idea of yours - it's along the same lines and it is something that is clearly just for her.

The Brown Recluse said...

A card and a Starbucks gc would be just fine. If the host suggested an appetizer, and you don't mind doing that, bring that as well. Go and enjoy!!

(I'm kinda that way, too...never know exactly what to do/say...)

Lynn Proctor said...

i always really get into bringing a hostess gift of some sort---maybe a small thing she could use at her job or just a box of candies, a candle or house plant--have fun :)

Marianne said...

I'd bring an appetizer and a little something wardrobe-related to make her return to the workforce a bit snazzier. Maybe a scarf or a cute pair of earings.

Tami said...

I would definitely take the appetizer - something that doesn't need to be served hot as it may have to sit for awhile.

I would also take a small "congratulations" gift. The Starbucks card is awesome - if there's one near where she lives/works and she's a coffee drinker. I also like the idea of something for her office - a pretty picture frame for her desk, pencil holder, etc. Nothing pricey - but just a thought.

Jen Forbes said...

I'd do wine or flowers but that's just me. But my rule is to never go empty handed even if they say just bring yourself...Hostess gifts are always appreciated :)

Linda :) said...

So what did you do... how did it go... :)

Deals On Wheels said...

How did it go? We usually bring a bottle of wine. Even friends who don't drink generally have a stash for guests that pop by that do, so it will get used either immediately or eventually.

I also take guacamole and chips. But that's mainly because I love guacamole, live in Texas and have discovered that guac is rarely ever turned down. ;)

Martha@SeasideSimplicity said...

Yep, definitely an appetizer to share and a bottle of wine would be nice to go with it if they drink. The starbucks card is a nice idea too - or all 3 if it's affordable enough for you.

Chatty Crone said...

Am I too late - what did you do? I would have brought an appetizer and a personal gift for her. Like a manicure coupon - lol - that is what I need! What a thoughtful hubs.

lime said...

i think some small item that might be useful or pertinent to whatever her job is.

banning brewd said...

i am also terrible about ettiquite! and my mother in law is an expert...thankfully she finds my ineptness charming...lol.

but...if it were for me...i would say the card and starbux card would be thoughtful and the appetizer would be helpful :)

M. J. Joachim said...

Hot off the presses! This blog received a Liebster Award on Effectively Human: http://effectivelyhuman.blogspot.com/2013/02/liebster-love-time.html

John DeBellis said...

Could always pretend you had the best thing ever and left it at home. And yeah it was all in good fun, thanks for the visit.

Big Mark 243 said...

You really did get some great tips... tips that I aim to take and put to good used when the time comes..!

Intense Guy said...

I would have firstly been thankful for being thought of and invited! Its been a long time since I attended a party!

:)