a bench with a view

a bench with a view

Thursday, July 12, 2012

parenting advice

I'm invited to a baby shower next month for a couple from church. This couple has a lot "against" them (except God, both believers). Without giving up too much of their privacy, one is sober from an addiction, then an unexpected pregnancy, planning to get married before the baby was born, but the baby came nine weeks early (but doing well).

I love baby showers (well except when I was going through infertility stuff and baby showers were hard....) but I do love baby showers. I like the silly games played at them. Son and a friend went to the friend's sister's baby shower a few years back and the game where they try to measure with toilet paper how big the mama to be's stomach, son won the game. He just stuck out his stomach and used that as a measurement and it was the closest. He has since dropped a bit of weight.

I digress......but I do that a lot.

In the invitation that came for this shower, there was a piece of paper for us to write down a special note for the family; either a prayer, poem, best parenting advice, whatever. They are going to put all the papers into the baby's book for years to come.

I thought about this for a bit. I haven't written it yet, but I think I would say something like this:

Pray daily for your child, for their safety, obviously, but that they would come to know Jesus earlier than later in their life and that they would be passionate for him, that they would be used mightily to further his kingdom. Pray daily for your child's future spouse. Yes, they are young and still in diapers and dating and marriage are years away, but pray that their future spouse will be a person also deeply in love with Jesus (I had a friend who did this when both their kids were young and both married awesome spouses who knew Jesus as their Lord and Savior).

Treasure each day; even the hard ones. Don't rush through the days or the seasons of your child's life. Don't rush for them to sleep through the night, to walk, to talk, to be in school because the time goes by so incredibly fast anyway. Just enjoy each and every day, even the bad ones.

Take time for yourself as a couple. It is okay to go and leave the little one in loving capable hands (of which there are abundance of grandparents and aunts). They will do just fine without you and you need that time to reconnect with each other.

Above all else, trust God with your whole heart and give them to him completely. After all, he was the one that knitted them together and counted their hair. He does know what is best all the time.

What one thing would you say to new parents?

43 comments:

Marianne said...

Great advice. I really couldn't add a single thing.

Janice's footsteps said...

Betty...YOU are just Super Duper!! That is so touchy and so very right on, it is easy to think of advice for here and now but long term is really what needs to be applied so our future can be blessed :)) Christ is the foundation we are to build on, to start out with and then end with, so this is PERFECT. Again you are a gem of a gal :))

Caroline said...

All sounds wonderful & I so agree. <3

Janice's footsteps said...

BETTY I WANT TO PRESENT YOU WITH AN AWARD FOR BEING A VERSITILE BLOGGER SO COME BY AND PICK IT UP OKAY YOU ARE SO GREAT I JUST AM SO THANKFUL TO HAVE YOU IN MY BLOG COMMUNITY :]

TARYTERRE said...

I think you summed it up. It was LOVELY. Heartfelt with just the right amount of advice.

Kelly said...

Oh, Betty...such lovely, beautiful, and heartfelt words to gift to young parents.

Then there's me...who would probably say something along the lines of, "Sleep! Sleep whenever you can, for the love of all that's holy!"

You're so, so much more eloquent than I.

;-)

Kathy ... aka Nana said...

What beautiful thoughts ... hard to imagine what could be added to it ... you covered all the important stuff.

I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

I think your advice is great. I had to do that too when my daughter had a shower this Spring. Now our newest addition to the family is a month and a half old already. I'll have to ask her if any of my advice is being used.

Carolina said...

Great advice! I wish someone had given me the same, especially the part about enjoying even the hard times. When the girls were little I couldn't wait until they walked, started school, etc. Soon they will be leaving and I miss those days! They go by way too quickly.

Toriz said...

With the exception of the parts about God and Jesus, I'd say what you said; trreasure each and every moment while it lasts, and remember to take time for yourselves as a couple.

Shelly said...

I think you said it perfectly and powerfully.

banning brewd said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Linda said...

Excellent..Just the way you wrote it. It is truly from your heart. I prayed for my daughters-in-law from the days my sons were born. God answered the prayers with incredible woman who compliment each son. I have also told each of them that I had prayed for them and that I praise the Lord daily for bringing them into our lives.

banning brewd said...

i might print this and pretend you wrote it to me... ;)

the only thing you could add is to never be too proud to ask you children for forgiveness.

Jeanie said...

Your advice is excellent, Betty. I hope they read it often.
My advice would be-don't take blame and don't take credit, just give lots of love and do the very best you can.

Deanna said...

You've said it best. I wouldn't change a single word.

Cute story about your son.

Rita said...

I'd have to think about that, but I like what you had to say. It was from the heart!! :):)

Robyn :) said...

That is really good advice. I, too, would tell the parents to pray for and with the child.

Linda B. said...

Nine weeks early, glad the baby is doing well. Great advice!

(Also, enjoy reading together daily.)

And who doesn't digress occasionally?! Enjoy the shower, silly games and all!

BelovedBomber said...

Wonderful advice! Something I have been asking God for is to prepare me to launch them with a willing heart to let them go and be all He has called them to be, trusting when they are not in my sight they are still in His...

jack69 said...

Love God, Know God, then most of all be patient, and after that, be patient.
You are entrusted with the greatest of treasures God has, so you must Be loving, because God is Love.

I like your better!!!!! But I didn't say it!!! shucks!

Betty WSch. said...

I think you said it perfectly. I would pray for patience daily. It's something I lack of and when kids are small you need lots...

Funny in My Mind said...

I would tell them that at the time, the world stands still but time flies by.
Enjoy every minute. Soon they are gone.

SweetMarie said...

Great post! Very well written!
I would just remind new parents that every child is unique and to listen to what they say to you. Everyday ask God for strength and patience.

Hollie said...

Wow, wonderful advice!!!!

Debby@Just Breathe said...

Those are words of wisdom. Even though I grew up in a church that my parents were very involved with I didn't know God. I was 38 before I really knew him. My children were not raised in a church and I regret that although they are wonderful children and I know God is watching over them. So they do need to make sure their children know God. Have fun!!!

Dee said...

Beautifully written note...I would add that as a mom or dad not to take things personally when the baby heads into its teen years. :)

MEM Reel said...

The only thing I would add is to make sure you take time to play with your child. Get on the floor and play cars, trucks, dolls. Don't be afraid to get dirty together.
And take lots of picture.

Karen Greenberg said...

What you wrote is perfect! I especially like the part about not rushing through stages. It seems like the bad ones will last forever, but before we know it they are gone, and we can never get those days back. I would add in to not compare your child to others. They each develop, grow, and mature at their own pace. As a teacher, I would add to be involved in the classroom when the time for school comes. The kids love it, and there is so much families can get from that experience! Your note, just as written, will be wonderful, though.

Pumpkin Delight (Kimberly) said...

Since I'm not a parent, no advice here, but I do love showers where both women and men are invited. How fun that your son win the game.
Thanks for coming by yesterday. :)

Living Life said...

Hi Betty! I think your words are very meaningful and heartfelt. Unfortunately, there is no manual for new parents. Nor is there a manual for parents with teenagers - *sigh.

"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it" Proverbs 22:6

Living Life said...

Forgot to mention that I love your "ducky" photos below!

Juli said...

I would say to write all of your words... plus add "Pick your battles."

:)

Lynn Proctor said...

i love your pray----i think this is a great thing to do--i have done this kinda thing at other showers--and the one i am giving next month--i am going to get people to write their advice blessings and prayers for the new mom and baby :)

Chatty Crone said...

Show love to each other every day.
sandie

Intense Guy said...

Your advice is "spot on".

I really, really like "Treasure each day; even the hard ones. Don't rush through the days or the seasons of your child's life. Don't rush for them to sleep through the night, to walk, to talk, to be in school because the time goes by so incredibly fast anyway. Just enjoy each and every day, even the bad ones."

Amen!

JosephAlsarraf said...

Lol! I wouldn't do to well in that game because I've got a flat stomach.

I don't know what i'd tell new parents other than be loving and patient with your child.

Congratulations to them! : )

Brenda Youngerman said...

I love what you wrote... and my advice to new parents: (funny, I just gave this to a set :) ) Enjoy each and every minute as the time whizzes by too fast.
Parent from your heart and don't let others tell you what you're doing is wrong. He (or she) is YOUR child and you will know what is right.

mare ball said...

Your note is great, and perfect. I would want all these things for new parents too. Trusting in God and SEEKING him to so crucial. The world will take our kids from us, if we let it. Beautiful prayers for your young couple.

The Brown Recluse said...

That's truly some great...the best, actually...advice.

I just don't know what I'd say if asked, but I am sure I'd say much the same as you. Heck, I'd probably just steal what you said.

heheh

Tami said...

Wow - you should give parenting advice for a living! Everything you said was perfect - and just what I would have said, only not as well. :)

Jane said...

There is a wonderful book by Stormie Omartian called "Power of a Praying Parent." Your words of advise remind me a lot of her book. As for me, I would tell first time parents the importance of loving the child while still being a good disciplinarian. First time parents have no idea how a child can learn to run the show if the child is not given boundaries and consequences. I wish more than anything that I would have done that.

Bobbi said...

What a beautiful bit of advice!! What would I say? I would first ask you if it was okay... then my advice would be the same as what you wrote.. word for word. This was truly given to you from God. This is also served as a reminder to me that I am not praying enough for my grandchildren. Thank you!