a bench with a view

a bench with a view

Sunday, June 17, 2012

dad

I have enjoyed reading a lot of entries today about people's dads in anticipation of celebrating Father's Day tomorrow.  There were so many wonderful stories out there about dads' love, dedication, commitment, faithfulness to their family; I was touched by them all.


This is a picture of my mom and my dad on their wedding day, May 2, 1953.

I never knew my dad. As many of you know, he died when I was 18 months old, on July 1, 1959, leaving behind my mom, a widow at age 38 with three young children almost 5 years old, almost 3 years old, and me, 18 months old. He was 39 years old.

He's my dad; I know he is because his name is on my birth certificate and will be on my death certificate. He is the one that God chose to be my dad. I believe I'll see him one day in heaven.

I think he was a good man. After all, my mom loved him dearly with all her heart, he was her one true love. She never dated or remarried after he died.

I have the stories my mom told of him. I know he loved me.

I know I'm not the only one that grew up without a dad, war takes dads away from their children, a lot of times even before the child is born; accidents have a way of doing that too, sickness, illness, etc.

When I was younger and not as wise, I thought when I died the first thing I would ask God is why he allowed my dad to die so young. But I'm older and wiser and know God had a purpose and a plan, even though it didn't make sense at the time and even though I may never know what that plan or purpose is this side of eternity. For whatever reason, he allowed it and I can accept that these days.

I have to say, the Bible says a lot about God having a special heart for the widow and the fatherless. I can truly attest to that. We didn't have much, but we had all that we needed; God did provide and provided so much and for that I am grateful.

What I know about my dad is he was born in 1920 in Poland. He was in the Polish Army. When Hitler invaded Poland, the army was put in war camps so my dad spent the war in a war camp. He contracted some type of a lung condition there that would eventually be part of his demise years later.

He emigrated to the United States after the war, he was sponsored by his cousins. He settled in the Western Pennsylvania area and worked in the steel mills.

He was in his early 30s when he met my mom. He was known as a Casanova for his good looks and my mom was surprised that she caught his attention. She didn't think she was beautiful enough for him, but she was in so many different ways, not just physically but she had the kindest of hearts. She thought she would be an old maid, she was almost embarrassed to be a bride at the age of 32. Of course God had plans that did not include her to be an old maid because three children would come from their union.

My dad would work the graveyard shifts at times. I know, from stories told, when he came home I would fetch his slippers for him to put on.

I don't know how it was to have a dad around me in my growing up years, going to class plays, helping with homework, guiding me through life, walking me down the aisle. My brother did that and did a mighty fine job.

I don't know what I missed because I don't know how it would have been because I never had it except for a mere 18 months of which I can't remember.

Yet I am glad he is my dad. I know God chose wisely and for that I am grateful.





30 comments:

Shelly said...

What a touching, beautiful story. I've got tears in my eyes. I know you will meet him again one day.

The Brown Recluse said...

Such a sweet...almost bittersweet...story about your precious parents. How scared your mom must have been, and how brave, to be a widow and move (with her three babies) clear across the country. Your parents were beautiful people...thank you for sharing them with us.

Caroline said...

Thank you for sharing your story. One sweet day you will see him again. So thankful for God & all he has done. God is so Good always.

Lynn Proctor said...

what a sweet beautiful post<3

Dana said...

What a beautiful story. I know you'll see him again. :)

Sue H said...

Thank you for sharing this. I had something similar, with my Dad shouldering responsibility for us kids when Mum was struck down with a wasting illness when I was four.

I'm glad you have the 'borrowed' memories of others who knew your Dad well so that you can learn about him.

I, too decided to post about my Dad on Father's Day - I miss him and I I wish he was still here.


SueH I refuse to go quietly!

Twitter - @Librarymaid

Chatty Crone said...

What a heartfelt story. I am sorry you lost him so early. But he did love you and you got a lot of great things from him. Happy Father's day to him and your hubby. sandie

Jeanie said...

The loss of your dad was a big part of you life....it sounds like your mom was an exceptionally strong woman who shared him with you in a positive way in his absence. Your words about your brother say that your dad left a very strong family to carry on.

Betty WSch. said...

I'm sure your dad is proud of you, up there in heaven. And one day you will see him and get to know this great guy. Thanks for sharing your dad with us!

Renegades said...

What a positive way to look at the loss of your father at such a young age.

Toriz said...

I'm sure your Dad has been smiling down on you all your life, and is waiting patiently for you to be with him again.

JosephAlsarraf said...

Oh, sorry you never knew your dad. My dad married my mom at age 30. Your parents look great in that picture.


Happy Father's Day! : )

Debby@Just Breathe said...

What a beautiful tribute to your father. So sorry you grew up without him in your life but I'm glad you know how much he loved you. ((HUGS))

SweetMarie said...

This is a heart felt story. I'm really glad you shared it Betty. I hope you enjoy your day!
Marie

jack69 said...

SWEET tribute to a wonderful memory. What a heritage, to have survived the camps and still immigrated. I have heard you talk about your mom and how tough she was, HE knew how to pick'em, She was tough to hang in there for you kids.
Love the entry. god Bless!

Funny in My Mind said...

Very nice tribute to your dad!
I am sorry you didn't have him with you while you were growing up. He must have been quite a catch if your mom never got over him.

I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

You may not have known your Dad but he is certainly a part of you. You were blessed to have a great brother helping you to grow up and being there for you. My youngest was 12 when my husband died so at least he did get to know his Dad. I agree that God does have a special place for widows and orphans. I've been helped so much and have some pretty wonderful children too. I like the new header picture. It was a surprise to see it today!

Linda said...

What a beautiful tribute to your dad. Thank you for sharing from your heart. I grew up with an abusive father whom I have an estranged relationship now. I am so thankful I have a loving heavenly Father.

mare ball said...

How sweet and beautiful. I always think of people today who no longer have their dads with them. Mine is 89 and will gone soon, I know. God bless your mom for keeping his memory alive for you. God DOES has a special place for widows and orphans. :-)

Big Mark 243 said...

This was really a wonderful tribute to your Father! It touches me in so many ways that I cannot begin to count them all!! I appreciate the sharing of your Father with us all, Betty.

TARYTERRE said...

Because of him, there is you. His legacy is you and your siblings. What a sweet tribute. Happy Father's Day to your husband and in memory of your father. take care.

Rita said...

There are so many people who grow up without a dad or a mom...or they have them and never see them, you know? Your mom must have loved him dearly. Even if you don't remember him, you were truly blessed that he was your father. I, also, believe that everything happens for a reason--even if we don't understand it. I believe you shall see him again one day. ;) *hugs*

Linda B. said...

Photo of your parents is one to cherish! Amazing your dad survived war in Poland. Wonderful to have stories of father's love since you were so young. And to be part of such a strong family.

Great bench with a view photo, such serene places you find!

Lynda said...

Wow! That is a powerful story. I say it is good we don't know what tomorrow holds - - no matter our age - - -because we probably would worry too much about how we would cope - - - rather than just living each day at a time.
It's a beautiful tribute to your dad.

Juli said...

My boys lost their father two weeks before Christmas. His death was his choice. This was their first father's day without him, and while he was not a huge part of their everyday life, somewhere in them I think they missed him today, even though they couldn't or didn't even know it.

However, they DID want to and asked to get a card for Tony their step-dad.

Parents come in all shapes and sizes. Some by circumstance, and some by birth.

Thanks for stopping by my place today... I'm your newest follower. :)

Farida of In Love With Sunflower said...

You write so well, Ms Betty! I admire you for the simple words you use yet the fluidity of thoughts is amazing! Dads are special and I can't agree with you more when you said that "Yet I am glad he is my dad. I know God chose wisely and for that I am grateful." Have a great week ahead! :D

notes4neta said...

What a lovely tribute to your dad. Even in the short time you had with him, he affected your life. Sounds like he was a wonderful man!

banning brewd said...

how sad that you didn't get to know your father...he sounds like a great man though.
certainly his legacy is evident in how you live your life...

Patrick said...

Powerful tribute!

Caregivingly Yours, Patrick

Intense Guy said...

This is a beautiful post. Your mother must of been a strong woman - I know you turned out well :)